Contemplating...

So I am thinking today about my day to day life. I thought for a second or so about my day. Every day is the same, I wake up, take care of my son (diaper, playing, nurse, nap). Then it's time for housework. I have an amazing husband who does the dishes for me, daily! Then I sit on the couch to check my email because my sister and husband email me once in a while. Then my little girl wakes up. I get her a drink (milk or water) and a peanut butter bagel, then she goes to the potty. You can see where I am going with this can't you? It's the same thing, over and over. The weekends and some of the nights when my husband is home are a little different, but otherwise not much. As I said though, I thought for a second, gosh this gets old. Yet, another second later, I was remembering that I hate drama, and change. Haha. So I should be thankful that I have everything I have and that it is the way I want it. I think I got to thinking this way because my husband has an interest in the Air Force. Which could completely change our lives forever, yet, semi-selfishly....I can't stand the thought of him leaving us. I need him. He said I would be fine, and I'm sure I would. I mean there are millions of military families out there, right? Anyhow, the fact that he would be gone is another story for another day. It's the changes I was referring to, I was almost mildly excited to do those things. Live in different states, fly on airplanes, take the kids all over with us. I just can't get over the leaving him stuff. He's my life. Ugh again, another story. So I should be happy...just where I am. Yet there is a part of me that wants much more out of life. I'm so torn with everything, and here I am jotting this stuff down...scatter brained. I can't even get one thought out without having five more jump in. I love my life, I truly do. Just some days I want more, but not for me....for my husband and my kids. As long as they are happy, I will be too. And I suppose the kids are happy...and the hubby is mostly happy (hates his job)...otherwise though. I should just be thankful that I have what I have when I have it, just as I have it. Ehh what a mess of a blog. Haha. It is what it is.